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Reasons why you should not suicide
There are many reasons why you should not kill yourself. Consider these and seek the help and support you need to resist any suicidal urges
 I deserve to live.
My life has value, whether or not I can see it right now.
The abuse I experienced was not my fault.
I didn’t choose to be battered.
Life is precious.
My abusers were and are wrong.
I will feel better eventually.
Each time I confront my despair I will get stronger.
If I die I will never again feel love, trust, or gratitude.
If I die I will never again see kindness and compassion in another’s eyes.
If I die I will never again see the sunlight streaming through the leaves of trees, or a bird take flight, or feel the warmth of the sun in winter.
The seconds do pass and even if it feels like time has become an unbearable weight, I only have to endure this second.
I have already won – I had the resilience, courage and will to survive.
I have the resilience, courage and will to keep on surviving.
The will to live is a priceless gift.
My inner child needs me, she/he has no one else and her/his need is so great and she/he deserves more than anyone to be healed and comforted.
I owe it to myself to survive.
If I die I will negate the significance of my suffering and the incredible endurance I have shown.
I already have the skills to find my healing path; I have proven this over and over again.
I can help fight the scourge of abuse for others. My survival is a testament.
I understand the meaning of suffering, and agony deepens the heart.
I deserve the peace that will come after this battle is won, and it will be won.
I will come to show that even though my abusers had the power, strength and ruthless cunning, even though I was a helpless, innocent, dependent child, I have beaten them.
I am angry that I have to suffer this pain.
You may have turned to this section in a moment of despair – when life reaches a climax of unbearable pain. Sometimes even a relaxing bath, teddy bear, writing out your feelings, talking on the phone, listening to your favourite music, or whatever else just isn’t enough, and the dam burst of painful emotions brings a flash flood. These are the times you don’t think you can ever get through, and when you do, you’re not sure how you did.
Depression and suicidal feelings are an almost inevitable result of childhood abuse. Like dissociation, depression can be protective - a way of avoiding feeling painful emotions that we fear will overwhelm us. But the price we pay for this protection is high. Depression isolates us and makes us feel unreachably alone. Depression is a place of darkness where no light can break through. Sometimes the numb feeling of depression has another protective function: it makes us too exhausted and inert to harm ourselves.
Suicidal feelings are especially likely to arise when we are deep in our pain. Then, when we are not yet able to confront it, we cannot see that we are more than the pain. Suicidal feelings should not be viewed as an abnormality. Feeling so desperate that we consider ending our life is a tragic, but normal response to the agony many survivors endure. We need to acknowledge the reality of this despair without being frightened of it, to help each other hear the feelings and the truth that lies behind the desire to die, and accept them.
'At times the feelings and emotions are so strong, so huge, so engulfing. Suicide, self-harm and at times homicide are options that flit through my mind. It’s the wanting to escape, the need for the pain to ease and the anger to quieten down that makes these options desirable.' Carmol Morely
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