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Beyond therapy
'Do you ever get over it?' is a question survivors often ask. What is possible?
 Deshaming, positive self-esteem, confidence and contentment are all possible.
Becoming less emotionally reactive to button pushers is possible.
Acknowledging the effects of abuse and making use of the strengths and skills we developed to cope is possible.
Living without fear is possible.
Knowing who you really are is possible.
Love is possible - love of self and love for others.
We cannot live in denial of the fact that our childhood has largely shaped our lives. However the ‘shape’ of our lives is not set in concrete. Beyond therapy we will continue to grow and explore the possibilities.
Our goal as survivors is to become the conscious creators of our own lives: to become the cause of our future rather than the result of our past. As we explore our freedom and break out of the confines of our isolation we will reap many rewards. These include an overflowing feeling of goodwill or love, self-confidence, laughter, joyfulness, connectedness, community, a willingness to try new experiences and a sense of magic (as experienced by the child we once were).
All growth involves change and change can be frightening. As survivors, we often find that the association of intense emotion with abuse can mean that the release of emotions overwhelm us. It is difficult to allow ourselves to feel intense emotions while remaining safe. Fear is the primary abuse-associated emotion. We, as survivors often try to avoid facing our fear. The antidote is support, support, support, taking one step at a time and accepting yourself as you are - the hero of your own survival.
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